Still waiting for the final word from Samoa. News reports from New Zealand and Samoa don't sound promising. I am still hoping against hope that things will work themselves out.
- posted by Adria @ 9:05 PM

 
Things don't look good. The latest news is that all but one minister signed off on the new law - effectively preventing overseas adoptions. The law goes in front of the Prime Minister now. The new law requires that all adoptions be approved by the Attorney General's office. Unfortunately the Attorney General in Samoa is vehemently against Samoan children being adopted by "strangers".

While I understand the sentiment, my heart aches for these poor children who are already in foster care because their families cannot afford to support them. How I wish we had been able to bring the boys home before this all snowballed. :(
- posted by Adria @ 2:32 PM

 
You know how they say that losing a child can destroy a marriage. I get it now. It hurts like nothing else but I get it. Things are falling apart in Samoa and I can't stop brooding. My husband, on the other hand, wants to work on the yard. I want to hash and rehash. I don't care one whit about the yard today. I know it's his way of dealing, of distracting himself, but I feel that we're being pulled apart.

I am desperately trying not to lose hope. I know - I think - that this is in the Lord's hands and worrying will get me nowhere. I don't have it in me to type all the details out now but I really fear that we are not going to be bringing these boys home. My heart is breaking.
- posted by Adria @ 5:15 PM

 
I am getting so depressed about the adoption. Our agency is down in Samoa trying to get to the bottom of this. I started thinking maybe if this referral fell through we would just go with another agency. Unfortunately there is no way we can afford to do this over again.

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father knows something I don't: that now is not a good time for us to go get the boys and bring them here. But if we dont do it now I don't think we ever will. It makes me really sad.

In July we have to pay for another homestudy update. We only have a portion of the travel money so we can't really afford that. I wonder if its going to cost way more than we can imagine.

We really truly did think this is what Heavenly Father wanted us to do. I don't want to be out two years of my life, and all this stress - this has been really hard on our marriage - and our money, just to help them out. And I know that sounds selfish.I want to do whatever Heavenly Father wants me to do but I am having a hard time wanting that.

I keep thinking about the women I know who got pregnant without charting and stuff, just letting go and trusting Heavenly Father. But it's so hard to do that .

What if we were supposed to adopt back then but because we didnt save up fast enough we missed that opportunity? Or something, I don't know. I'm very frustrated. I don't know. I hope we get an answer soon but I am afraid of what the answer is. I'm afraid it's no and we have accomplished nothing, and it has been so stressful. I'm even afraid it's yes and that I can't be a good mom.

I know Heavenly Father knows but I am having trouble relying solely on faith. If anything I am learning to be patient and rely on God. Or at least I am learning that to some degree. It's not coming easy but I'm trying harder than I was.
- posted by Adria @ 5:13 PM